While painful, shared loss also has a raw beauty. It unites a disparate population, at least for a short time, as we reminisce and ache together. Death is indiscriminate. Disease and depression are our common enemies, even when widely misunderstood. We latch onto those threads and find temporary solace in our mutual grief.
Beneath the emptiness of loss, however, I'm feeling something more complex and debilitating. Guilt.
While it seems the entire Internet is saying a huge "Thank you!" to Robin Williams for his work and his humanitarian efforts, I primarily want to apologize to the man and his family.
It may seem trivial & silly to some. Robin Williams never knew me. I was never on his radar as an individual. I'm as certain as I can possibly be that he would never have considered me (or anyone else) at fault in any way. Yet I feel responsible, both as an individual and as part of a collective audience, for failing to provide whatever spark he needed in order to choose to remain alive.
So, to keep my own demons at bay, I will continue celebrate his life and the vast body of work that is his legacy. I will laugh, as he intended, for I can think of no finer tribute.
Be well, y'all, and please be kind. You never know when it might make a pivotal difference in someone's life.
peace & passion,
~ Alessia
