Thursday, September 13, 2007

That Four Letter Word

A few years ago, I wrote a short story entitled "Topping Love" in which love was compared to a pizza. There were basic elements (crust, sauce, cheese) for everyone, but the importance of toppings varied from person to person. (The story appears in fine flickering hungers and uses the characters from my Costa Rica series: Sam, Jess, Charlie, and Richard.)

I did a good bit of reading about love, especially research/theories, while writing that story. One that has stuck with me is Yale psychologist Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love:

Sternberg's Triangle

If I'd make a poster of the image above, I could use thumbtacks to accurately peg every relationship in my life that was deeper than a casual acquaintance. Each day, I could adjust the placement of the tacks as bonds grew or were damaged by action or inaction (whether mine or that of others). Maybe I'll do that - just for grins. *wink*

The ultimate (consummate) love, Sternberg asserts, is the interior of the triangle. Most of the time, I agree with that assertion. I think a lot of people invest a lot of effort to achieve that ideal -- and even more to maintain it. I wonder, though, if it's an unrealistic expectation for the long haul.

What do y'all think?

3 comments:

victoriablisse said...

I believe in love and I certainly believe that the perfect, inner triangle love is attaianable.

But then I'm the most romantic optimist I know ;)

Lillian Feisty said...

I believe it's possible fore a lot of people. But it takes a lot of work. The problem, I think, is that we can't control passion/infatuation. Or at least I can't. And without that we never reach the center, right?

Anonymous said...

Since my mind runs in a very particular way these days, I would beg you to wonder if love is not the missing link between classical phyics and quantum mechanics which aren't supposed to mix, but have to somewhere, somehow.

Maybe love, with it's fabled and well known instant messaging between new lovers can be the starting point to bridge them for whatever reason.

Hey, just saw your post with mention of your blogging on this, but feel very, very free to delete this post.

BTW, my compliments to the person that set this site up - it's fabulous, easy so far, and very readable.

I wish you peace, and I wish you love, girl

mismused