Thursday, November 04, 2010

Hate Male

This gem appeared in my inbox this morning, and I just couldn't keep it to myself. Apparently this individual is unable to distinguish between narrative nonfiction and 1st person POV fiction. He is also quite defensive, isn't he? Enjoy...

* * *

Dear 'Whomever has the guts to read my comment in its entirety' (I'm not holding my breath):

In the posted excerpt from DOUBLE DECKER PP-034, PURPLE PROSAIC, JANUARY 2010, I was ASTOUNDED to read the following:

"Now, I’m not one of those dykes who won’t touch a woman who’s touched a dick, but there’s quite enough drama in lesbian circles without bringing Buffy and her angry ex-boyfriend—the one with the Chevy Silverado sporting a Confederate flag and a loaded gun rack—into the mix. The last time I dabbled in that kind of pussy, I wound up having to send a linebacker to the E.R. with a busted tibia. Those steel-toed boots do come in handy on occasion."

Drama? HOLY SHIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Please forgive me for HURLING in disgust, but I find that the author's claim of hospitalizing an ex-high school football star/local-yokel-hick by breaking his leg with a single, powerhouse kick of her steel-toed boot to be A HUGE, STEAMING PILE OF SHIT!!!

Why do so many lesbians insist on espousing their IMAGINARY propensity for physical violence against males, to the point where they will LIE LIKE HELL in an attempt to glorify themselves into somebody they are not? It's just so fucking lame! You aren't fooling anyone with that crap, and you certainly aren't endearing yourself to anyone except other mega-angry lesbians with similar bullshit fantasies. All you have accomplished is to tell me that you have have deep-seated emotional problems and need a fucking shrink (what a shocker).

Why can't you just write about seducing and fucking one another without LYING YOUR ASS OFF about how street-tough and animalistic you IMAGINE yourself to be? I don't think you can - because you and your ilk apparently come (cum) as 'package deals' - super-butch and pretentiously bad/tough/cool. Try as you might, you will NEVER be James Dean…or Marlon Brando…or any other street-tough!

Think about it for a minute: In just a few sentences, the author comes across as immensely dumber and even more testosterone-soaked than the idiot redneck she ALLEGEDLY dropped with her Herman's Survivors super-kick to his shin! IT'S SUCH BULLSHIT...AND SHE KNOWS IT!

If you angry dykes insist upon BLAH-BLAHING about how important it is to 'be yourself' (as the author notes a few sentences earlier in the excerpt), then fucking be yourself, instead of pretending to be some fantastic super dyke hero with both the mindful vengeance and ovaries to pull-off such an idiotic, 'Barbie Bad-Ass' wet dream!

Get bent,

Big Al
Reston, VA


Sarah said...

Sounds like he woke up on the wrong side of the gun rack.

Angie said...

Sounds like the gentleman's issues have sucked all the blood away from his brain. He's entertaining, though. :)


Selena Kitt said...

Someone needs to learn to differentiate between "character" and "author."


Anonymous said...

Wow. I think I dated her in high school, which explains much.

--Gay Dude

Leigh said...

If the guy so apparently hates lesbians so much, why is he reading excerpts of lesbian fiction?

Angie said...

Any bets he was hoping it was the kind of story where two hot lesbians are having sex when the dumpy male plumber shows up, and the women drag him into their bedroom, let him watch for a few minutes, then beg him to fuck them...? [wry smile]